Sunday, August 23, 2009

ZOMBIE APOCOLYPSE: IF SCIENCE BELIEVES IT, THEN WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?


Now nobody likes to hear an "I told you so", but I can't help myself Shuffle Functioneers. On Friday the following news story broke across the internet. Yes it is a Fox News clip, but don't let this dissuade you. CNN sells t-shirts of their headlines news for goodness sakes!!!

http://www.foxnews.com/search-results/m/25955933/zombie-apocalypse.htm#q=zombies


Canadian Scientists took it upon themselves to watch a bunch of horror movies, play a number of video games, and then break out their big brains and calculators to do the math. Their scientific conclusion: a zombie apocolypse would essentially wipe out society as we know it.

Why should we believe these Canadian yahoos? They start off with a bang by concluding that the zombies we would be dealing with would indeed be the slow moving zombies. I have made this argument from the get go, simply because there is no way in hell that I could run more than 50 yards to get away from a fast moving 28 Days Later zombie. That should be reason enough right? You aren't buying it? You still think this is a joke. Well then let me drop some science on you:

How do you like those zombie apples, huh? That is just the basic principle too - it just gets more and more convoluted. I don't want to blow your mind with science so I won't include any more formulas, but you can read them here for yourself:


http://www.mathstat.uottawa.ca/~rsmith/Zombies.pdf

These guys get an A for effort and an A+ for scaring the crap out of me. They do offer a glimmer of hope however - if we act incredibly fast to destroy the zombie population we may have a fighting chance. Otherwise, a city with a population of over 500,000 should expect to be over run by zombies within three days.

Don't forget to scroll down the blog for information on this Saturday's Grind-Fu Cinema. The posters are up and around town, and we are hoping for a big crowd for Nosferatu and Phantom Of The Opera.



Shelley

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