A full month of blogging Halloween posts, and I am finally getting around to something I've wanted to talk about since October 1st - blood, or more precisely how to make the best fake blood you've ever seen. If this were a sick and twisted Martha Stewart feature, I would call it
FAKE BLOOD 101.
Arguably the best blood maker in the business has to be H.G. Lewis, the "Godfather of Gore". Last year's final Grind-Fu Cinema we were pleased to present his Blood Trilogy, which illustrated the work of the master. Shyboy Tim could definitely add more to this conversation, but he has mentioned on the air before that H.G. Lewis actually got a patent on his fake blood formula. That is how good it was. If you watch one of his films, let's say Blood Feast, you can see that he had plenty of opportunities to hone is blood making techniques.
I too have had a chance to work with a very cheap and affordable fake blood formula on a regular basis. Many of you know that my real job that supports my radio habit is that of a baker. I make lots and lots and lots of cake, and that is how I discovered this fake blood masterpiece. Drum roll please............it is
RED VELVET CAKE MIX!!!
ohhhhhhhhhh - doesn't it look cute? All red and tasty chocolatey? Why it's adorable!!!!
TRUST ME SHUFFLE FUNCTIONEERS. WHEN USED FOR ANYTHING OTHER THAN CAKE RED VELVET CAKE MIX LOOKS LIKE A TRACTOR ACCIDENT GONE HORRIBLY HORRIBLY WRONG MEETS THE 24 HOUR SURGERY CHANNEL MEETS CSI.
FAKE BLOOD 101
Step 1) Buy some Red Velvet Cake Mix. Thanks to films like 'Steel Magnolias', it is not difficult to find on the shelves at your grocery store.
Step 2) Grab a bowl.
Step 3) Add a few cups of mix to the bowl.
Step 4) Add water.
Step 5) Whisk together. If it appears to be "runny", simply add more mix until you
find the right bllod like consistency you seek.
Step 6) It is ready to apply. It will look kinda rusty in color initially, but as
the air hits it, it will become crimsony bloody beautiful.
Step 7) have responsible fun with this!!